she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
