My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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