ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
