Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
