Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
