You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
