That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
