We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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