I accidentally had phone sex last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize