Its about making memories worth repressing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
