I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
