I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
