I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
