why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
