I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
