the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
