omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize