Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The uberlube is also flammable
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
