I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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