Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize