My first STD was from a foam party
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
