I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
