I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
