sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
