the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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