you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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