Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
