I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
