There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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