Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
