Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it penis luge time yet?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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