She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
