you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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