Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
