the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize