there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
