do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
