Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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