We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
