i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
