Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
