Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize