love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
