Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
