Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
