i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
