then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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