I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
