he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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