i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
