Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
