worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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