I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
