I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
