Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
