Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
