Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
