Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
