he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
