at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
