He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
