So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
