I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
