help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
