trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
