evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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