I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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