great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
