just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
