That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
