I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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