Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
